Proponents of the power of positive thinking fad (which is also a best selling book by Norman Vincent Peale) have been around for a long time, but just as other fad-like ideologies become more popular—such as the Law of Attraction—there seems to be more and more confusion and skepticism based on the experiences of those who have tried such things and come away disappointed. I used to say to people who were proponents of positive thinking that I was more a realist, which truthfully, meant that I was just a jaded pessimist. Even though people closest to me would encourage me to be positive and tell me “things will work out,” I was quick to point out when they didn’t, “See, I told you so.” In hindsight, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy because I was too stubborn to even try to think positively. All of my doubts and skepticism came to fruition, and then I pretended to be the victim of it all.
As a result, I went through a lot of very dark years which included failed relationships, loss of homes (three, to be exact) and belongings, and even a suicide attempt. After that dark episode, after being released from the hospital, I sat in an empty apartment wondering if I should finish the unfinished deed. I sat in my misery until I was exhausted and couldn’t think about it anymore. I couldn’t sleep that night at all, and so when I finally let go of all the things that were wrong with my life, I sat alone in deafening silence. After a while silence turned to stillness. A thought came to me: “What if there is a happy life out there and I never figured out how to find it?” My tears weren’t about anger and disappointment. They were about releasing all the things that were so terribly wrong for so very long. And then I felt something I didn’t expect, nor could I explain. I felt love. I felt that I wasn’t alone. Despite my refusal to believe that it was God, I still felt love that lasted for hours.
I was so worried about how I was going to get back to that place that I cried more. I began to backtrack the pathway of that feeling of being loved and not alone. I got to the stillness and let go. I let go of everything. Over time, I kept returning to stillness and feeling love, which turned to hope. In hope, I realized that I felt more positive about my life. But still, there were terribly negative things that were happening. But when they happened, I would take that pathway back to stillness and stay with love where I was not alone. I had a sense that everything would work out. It was a sense of knowing. And in time, I was right. (But it did take time.) Things did work out, and my life became better, and I continued to heal and forgive.
I learned from the depths of my suffering and bitterness about positive thinking because of these experiences. I learned that negative experiences are not without positive ones, just as a rainbow is not without rain. I decided to write about why I believe positive thinking works with the understanding that it doesn’t eliminate negative experiences. I have published a brief article about it that includes what I have found to be the biggest misunderstanding and mistake that most of us make when we try to think positively. You can read the article which is called, The Fatal Flaw of Positive Thinking and How to Fix It by clicking on the highlighted title.
After all the abuse, losses, depression, and seemingly endless negative things that I have experienced, I can now say that I have no regrets of having gone through any of them because they all helped direct me to the place I am now, in a positive, happy life, filled with love.
I hope you will read the article and share it with others.